Dirty English by Ilsa Madden-Mills
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a girl in possession of a kindle is in want of a good book. I love a good romance novel. I especially love a good romance novel based on a classic. Dirty English by Ilsa Madden-Mills is a great romance novel based on a classic, Pride and Prejudice. And I can see the connection. But I must be completely honest, I am not one of those people who loved, or even liked, Pride and Prejudice. In fact, I loathed it. I am one of those people. I don’t understand the love of the book. Elizabeth Bennet thinks way to highly of herself, and while Mr. Darcy is eventually the man she falls for, I don’t see what’s so great about him. He’s presumptuous, and the fact that he just assumes Elizabeth is going to fall down and kiss his boots because he tells her he’s in love with her...ugh. White Male Privilege. How those two ended up together is beyond me. Maybe it’s because I’m a black woman from 21st century America that I couldn’t connect with 19th century upper-middle class white people (but I’m in love with the Royal Family? I’m full of contradictions). And before you start the angry emails about how great this novel is, and what’s wrong with me, I get it! I understand the literary importance of Austen’s work. I just don’t like it. I am perfectly within my rights to not like something. It’s my opinion that anything and everything that is done to P & P is an improvement on a poorly written love story (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies anyone?).
Dirty English is a vast improvement on the novel in which it is based. Madden-Mills also uses one of my favorite literary devices--Two voiced narration. Each chapter is either from Elizabeth Bennet’s (yup) voice, or Declan Blay’s. There are plenty of connections you could make between Pride and Prejudice and Dirty English. But this is purely 21st century New College Adult romance. Trying to make those comparisons and showing how the books are alike would make me hate this book. I do not hate this book. Pride And Prejudice= Angry Fires of Mordor Hatred. Dirty English= Trips to Hogsmeade and Butterbeer Love. I do not want to bore you with the comparisons, but here are the obligatory main ones you need to know--theme. Yup, that's the one I'm focusing on. A major theme in Pride and Prejudice is finding someone to love you for you, and not because society expects you to be with that person. Does society (read parents in this case) want these two to be together? Hell to the no , but that doesn't matter. These two are going to fall in love and to hell with you if you don't like it. It's the journey they take getting there that makes this one of my favorite stories.
Elizabeth is a rape survivor who takes control of her life and her sexuality. She has rules she abides by, and friends who love her. Declan is a tattooed Brit (already in love with him), and trying to open his own gym. They are from opposite sides of the tracks (metaphorically and literally), Elizabeth fighting for everything she has earned, and while Declan didn’t grow up in the lap of luxury, he is considerably more well off than Elizabeth. And when they meet (it’s a really cute meet-cute moment too), Elizabeth’s awkward flirting and attempt at seducing Declan did the opposite of turning him off, it intrigues him. But of course, it wouldn’t be a romance novel, or an ode to Pride and Prejudice if they didn’t try and fight their attraction. And who doesn't love yelling at characters when they are acting stupid ("Just kiss already! Stop denying the sexy British man and KIIIIIISSSSS HIIIIIIMMMMM!!!).
There is a little love triangle. And who doesn't love a good love triangle Elizabeth’s friend, Blake, thinks he’s in love with her. This of course makes Declan jealous. Declan does silly things when he's jealous. This makes reader giddy, because reader knows Declan has nothing to worry about. Dramatic Irony, people. I wish Madden-Mills had delved more into that part of the story. She just sort of ended it. Not that I’m complaining about how, I just didn’t feel that it was a full ending for those two. There wasn’t closure, and that connection fell away pretty quickly once Declan and Elizabeth finally got their heads out of their assess and realized they loved each other. At the same time, Elizabeth seemed to be dealing with a lot, her best guy friend thinks he’s in love with her at the same time her high school boyfriend, who raped her, decides to go to her school. It does not surprise me that she is wary of men. The closure she gets with rapist-ex-douche-canoe I liked. I didn’t feel she got full closure with Blake. They needed to have a conversation, or something. Maybe Madden-Mills will write Blake’s story. Then I’ll get my closure. I know, it’s not all about me, but sometimes I feel like it should be.
This is one of those books I read straight through. Didn’t get up to pee, didn’t watch tv, drove my husband crazy because I wasn’t paying attention to him. That’s what I love about Madden-Mills’ writing. It’s realistic, engaging, and the sex scenes are hot! I hate writers who tell you what’s happening, but don’t show you what’s happening. Dirty English shows. I am hoping for a book on Declan’s twin brother Dax (again, I know it’s not about me…). I really enjoy Madden-Mills style of writing, have since I read her Briarcrest Academy series (starting off with Very Bad Things). Dirty English is currently $.99 on Amazon, and it is also available on Kindle Unlimited. But that price will not stay low for long. I do recommend this one, especially if you love Romance Novels, which I do!
I was going to try and end this by quoting Pride and Prejudice again, but there is no way I'm using the last line from that book. I mean, have you read it lately? "With the Gardiners, they were always on the most intimate terms. Darcy, as well as Elizabeth, really loved them; and they were both ever sensible of the warmest gratitude towards the persons who, by bringing her into Derbyshire, had been the means of uniting them." UGH! Austen, blargh! So I'll just leave you with a tease from Dirty English, which is much better anyway.
Exclusive Excerpt (copied from Goodreads.com) “I wanted to f*ck you the minute you walked in that party,” Declan snapped. “Then why don’t you,” I bit back, tossing back my shoulders. “You think you want me?” he said tightly. “You can’t handle me, Elizabeth. I can see it in your eyes. You’re scared of something, maybe not me, but something.” My eyes went to his black eye. He let out a harsh laugh. “Ah, that’s what you’re afraid of. You want the real truth? You told me tonight you didn’t like violence, but I’m an arsehole who uses his fists. That’s who I am.” I didn’t believe that. I sensed a good guy in him. “What do you mean?” His gaze was intense, dark and low, his face struggling as he fought to find the right words. “I’m in a fight club for money. I show up at warehouses and fight other blokes. Sometimes I beat them so bad they need medical attention. A few times, I’ve been beat to unconsciousness. I’m everything you need to stay away from.” I inhaled, anger and lust and excitement all riding me. Anger that he was pushing me away, lust for the alpha male in him, and God help me, the fighting thing repelled me and excited me at the same time. “I don’t want to stay away from you. I want you to f*ck me and stop making excuses for why you can’t.” My words seemed to snap his taut restraint. He pulled me back in his arms, his lips fusing with mine unerringly. His tongue plundered me in a sensual way my body had craved for years. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my anger morphing into all-out desire as he turned us and pressed me against the wall. Yes, yes, this is what I craved. A passion to remind me that I was real, not just some sad excuse of a girl who chose to exist on scraps of love. Before I knew it, he’d shoved my robe off, his hands sculpting my shoulders, massaging them as he ravaged my mouth. I reveled in the warmth of his hand on my neck as his mouth skated down, kissing the hollows of my throat, sucking on my collarbone. “Like this?” he asked, his voice dark and gravelly. “You want me to take you up against this wall?” “Yes,” I moaned. Gone. Past caring as long as he kept his hands on me. Out of control, my brain whispered, but I beat back the dark warnings as his warm hand found my breast and squeezed, his fingers rolling my nipple between his thumb and forefinger. I gasped in pleasure and arched my back to get closer to his body, ignoring the fear that pricked at the surface. The rules girl in my head stamped her foot and yelled at me. But even if I wanted to stop right now, I couldn’t. My tongue tangled wildly with his, my hands pulled at his hair, spurring him on, his hand palming my breast and then tugging. Sharp sensations of need went straight to my core. “Is this what you want? Something quick where we just take what we want and forget each other the next day?” No. Not that. Not like the way he said it, like it was something dirty. “Yes, like that,” I whispered against his shoulder, my mouth on his skin, tasting him as my teeth bit down.
